Posts Tagged ‘gay confidence’

Here is the final part of the series of Confidence Tips for Gays with Difficult Parents. I will also start a blog entitled “Tips for Parents of LGBT that are Struggling”, so look for these in the coming week!

8.) Support friends who have parents that struggle with their child’s sexual identity:
You may find that supporting a friend immediately increases your self-esteem. When we tell friends about our own challenges with the goal of helping them, this is a huge confidence booster. Why? Because our friends are usually appreciative of the advice and will reciprocate in other areas where need encouragement.

9.) Dress like you love yourself:
Many times we expect love from others while forgetting to love ourselves. So, pick your outfits like you are dressing a person that you love more than anyone in the world. When you look good, you feel more self-assured and others will respect your confidence.

10.) Adopt Accepting Parents:
If all else fails and your parents have made it clear that they are willing to kick you out of the house or disown you, based on your sexual identity, it may be time to seek support elsewhere. Or, if your parents are simply unsupportive, outside support could be desirable. Ideally, you will not love someone else’s parents as much as you love your own. However, in some cases, you may want to find friends who have accepting parents. It may be a good idea to tell your adopted parents that you need their support. Making your needs explicit is important because many people love to feel like they are helping someone. Therefore, if you are honest about your need for support, you could inspire your adopted parents to embrace you.

This is a continuation of the first blog with the same title I provided a couple of days ago that could be helpful to Gays that are having difficulty with their parents. These tips are meant to boost your confidence and may help strengthen what could be a long road to a loving relationship building between the parent and LGBT.

4.) Seek a licensed therapist/psychologist: These people can assist you with gaining your self-confidence and put you on a healthy mental path. Everyone’s life is different and some people have to make huge life-decisions in their teen years. But whatever your life requires, therapists can help you sort things out.

5.) Read Books that relate to gay topics of interest:
Reading books is a great way to discover how other people have navigated through your same situation unscathed. You could even find some books for your parents to read, as this could help them struggle less with your sexual identity. Go to my website @ http://www.dr-sally.com to get more information regarding my book entitled: OMG My Child Is Gay!

6.) Attend help-groups and events that support the LGBT community: P-FLAG at (www.pflag.org); and The Gay & Lesbian Center at (www.laglc.org) are two good resources.

7.) Find a job where you will support the LGBT community: It may be a good idea to surround yourself with likeminded individuals who think the same way and feel the same way. You can pick up some confidence tips from others who are in your same situation.

Over the next few days, I will be posting some tips that could be helpful to Gays that are having difficulty with their parents. These tips are meant to boost your confidence and may help strengthen what could be a long road to a loving relationship building between the parent and LGBT.

1)    Create a list of your strengths:

Lists allow you to put your positive accomplishments at the forefront of your mind while leaving less room for negative self-talk.

2)    Increase your friendship network:

Friends can build and rebuild your self-esteem. Be sure to keep companions in your circle that highlight your positive accomplishments as well as give you constructive criticism for your weaknesses. However, be careful of those who put you down for your shortcomings, as these people may have low self-esteem themselves. You don’t want someone else’s low self-worth to trickle into your confidence-space.

3)    See yourself as mature as your parents:

As small children, we tend to idolize our mothers and fathers. However, as we grow up we increasingly realize that parents have imperfections. Some people’s weakness involves the rejection of a child’s sexual identity, once it has been discovered or vocalized. Thus, if you view your parents as a work-in-progress, as opposed to the evil ones who hate you for being gay, you will display a level of maturity that could eventually inspire them to change to accept and love you as you are. Or, your maturity could influence support from your parents’ friends; you never know, these individuals may play a powerful role in assisting your parents with loving you.