Posts Tagged ‘lgbt’

Resources for LGBT and Their Families:

Disclaimer: The following websites are provided for information purposes ONLY and are NOT personally endorsed by Dr. Sally Williams.
• Lead with Love: http://www.leadwithlovefilm.com/pdf/resources.pdf
• LGBT Youth: http://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm
• NARTH: http://narth.com/
• National Organization for Women: http://www.now.org/issues/lgbi/resources.html
• P-Flag: http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=539
• True Colors: http://www.ourtruecolors.org/Resources/Reading/straight-parents.html

This is a continuation of the first blog with the same title I provided a couple of days ago that could be helpful to Gays that are having difficulty with their parents. These tips are meant to boost your confidence and may help strengthen what could be a long road to a loving relationship building between the parent and LGBT.

4.) Seek a licensed therapist/psychologist: These people can assist you with gaining your self-confidence and put you on a healthy mental path. Everyone’s life is different and some people have to make huge life-decisions in their teen years. But whatever your life requires, therapists can help you sort things out.

5.) Read Books that relate to gay topics of interest:
Reading books is a great way to discover how other people have navigated through your same situation unscathed. You could even find some books for your parents to read, as this could help them struggle less with your sexual identity. Go to my website @ http://www.dr-sally.com to get more information regarding my book entitled: OMG My Child Is Gay!

6.) Attend help-groups and events that support the LGBT community: P-FLAG at (www.pflag.org); and The Gay & Lesbian Center at (www.laglc.org) are two good resources.

7.) Find a job where you will support the LGBT community: It may be a good idea to surround yourself with likeminded individuals who think the same way and feel the same way. You can pick up some confidence tips from others who are in your same situation.

Over the next few days, I will be posting some tips that could be helpful to Gays that are having difficulty with their parents. These tips are meant to boost your confidence and may help strengthen what could be a long road to a loving relationship building between the parent and LGBT.

1)    Create a list of your strengths:

Lists allow you to put your positive accomplishments at the forefront of your mind while leaving less room for negative self-talk.

2)    Increase your friendship network:

Friends can build and rebuild your self-esteem. Be sure to keep companions in your circle that highlight your positive accomplishments as well as give you constructive criticism for your weaknesses. However, be careful of those who put you down for your shortcomings, as these people may have low self-esteem themselves. You don’t want someone else’s low self-worth to trickle into your confidence-space.

3)    See yourself as mature as your parents:

As small children, we tend to idolize our mothers and fathers. However, as we grow up we increasingly realize that parents have imperfections. Some people’s weakness involves the rejection of a child’s sexual identity, once it has been discovered or vocalized. Thus, if you view your parents as a work-in-progress, as opposed to the evil ones who hate you for being gay, you will display a level of maturity that could eventually inspire them to change to accept and love you as you are. Or, your maturity could influence support from your parents’ friends; you never know, these individuals may play a powerful role in assisting your parents with loving you.

Have you ever experienced working for a horrible boss? My definition of a horrible boss is one that has any or all of the following characteristics:

  • No work ethics or sense of values i.e. takes credit for work that isn’t theirs
  • Gossips and lies about you or other employees
  • Controlling and always finds fault in everything you do
  • Impatient and hard to get along with
  • Jealous and full of self righteousness
  • Abusive of power
  • Talks down to you and others
  • Lacks effective listening and communication skills
  • Lies and is untrustworthy
  • Unpredictable .. always changing their mind on a project to benefit themselves
  • Shows co-workers favoritism
  • Not a team player
  • Not a motivator of their staff
  • Stays in their office and doesn’t interact with staff
  • Lacks leadership skills

There are a host of other characteristics that you may be able to add; however, you get the idea.  When a boss has any of these qualities and you are constantly exposed to them with no way out except to quit, this can be very stressful and could cause mental and psychological harm to you which can manifested into physical illness.

So what have you done to stop the cycle within you because you do have a choice outside of quitting? First, you must understand that you have the ability to change the way you think and react to situations. No one can MAKE you mad enough to STAY in that condition. You have a choice in how you think and what you will concentrate on. Therefore, you can choose to think of the person in another way such as as a unhappy, unloved, and as a  miserable soul in need of love and guidance. Then you can begin to feel compassion for them rather than anger. This by no means is an easy thing to do especially when you’ve been pissed at the person for long periods of time. The fact is, you really may not know why the person is the way they are. Their attitude may be such because something has triggered it at home or in their childhood and the feel helpless to change it. Since you are a person they have some power over they seek to control or make your life as miserable as their own.

Remember, insecure people with power can be very dangerous.

What has been your experiences with horrible bosses? How have you handed situations with them? Let’s talk about it and see if we can come up with a solution.

Have you ever been bullied or treated disrespectfully by anyone in your life? Every day people are committing terrible hate crimes against Gays because they can.  Since when is it become OK to do this? I’m the mother of a Gay son and every day, I pray that he and his partner will be alright wherever they decide to go.

The horror of picking up the phone and hearing someone tell me to come to the hospital because my son has been beaten haunts me as I believe it does other parents. Although we may not want to believe that it could happen to our loved ones, there have been plenty of stories of tragic incidents.

If this has happened to you or someone you love or know, please share the experience and discuss what the outcome was.  You never know who you may help.

My name is Dr. Sally Williams, and I am writing a book regarding my experience as the mother of a gay son.  The purpose of my book is to help educate parents on how to be supportive and loving to their child and NOT alienate them due to hurt or anger.  As part of this project, I am conducting a survey in which I am asking for participants to answer a 10 question anonymous questionnaire regarding their sexual orientation.  My interest is to know at what approximate age did the participant FIRST become aware that he/she was interested in the same sex or the opposite sex (should they not be gay).

Should you like to comment regarding this topic, I welcome your feedback.

Your participation would help me collect data regarding this subject.  Your responses are confidential and anonymous and will NOT be shared with anyone.  To take the survey, please click the following  link:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JW8FR2R